Currently Listening Robbers & Cowards By Cold War Kids hospital beds see related

i could listen to land between solar systems by mum for the rest of my life. it could play all day every day without cease, and i would always think it was beautiful.

rough times lately. i have been sick a lot. immunocompromised-ism. i have a puney muney.
i think it defeated me. defeated being such a strong word, but the last three months of my life being a strong definition for the word "defeated"

i have definitely let myself "go" if you will.
for this i am sorry to everyone. i know very few read this, but know that i am sorry.
know i am trying to get and be better.
remembering to eat, love, and especially pray.

thank you god for your mercy. today was full of god illuminating his promise to me.
thank you lord.
i had forgotten the hope you give, and what it feels like to hope.

so maybe i am on the right road again.
after dealing with being defeated...by my own body.
i never left, but i feel like i am coming back.

i had also forgotten the most beautiful thing put into my life.
strangely enough i remembered this very well after reading old xanga posts. (from the both of us)
we are in love. we had a beginning and we are making our lives together right now.
it is nice to not be alone, and i thank you for this.
lets remember what it was like falling in love, and how intense it was.
you are my best friend, and thank you for never giving up on me...even when i am the most ridiculous human being alive.

we are who we are, and who we are is so beautiful. (lets not try to change this about each other)

family. broken. hoping.

i love and adore you all...whoever may read this. i appreciate you. and i love you. and i am sorry for letting myself be defeated.

"anyone who is among the living has hope" ecc9:4

Currently Listening Let It Die By Feist mushaboom see related

have not been here in awhile.
the world has gone to facebook and myspace,
and sadly friends, so have i.

i thought i would drop in and write something that maybe 2.5 people will read.
that's okay. i am good with 2.5 people reading something from me.
i was never one for a lot of attention.

2 summers ago i embarked on a harry potter party.
two nights ago i went to a midnight showing.
i am still very tired.
(pictures will come soon, maybe)
it was great though, the movie.
the battle of good and evil.
bravo j.k. rowling, bravo.

the book comes out in like a week.
the last book.
wow. i am not sure how i feel.
bittersweet might describe it.
unfortunately i will not be at the harry potter party again.
rather in dallas celebrating the birth of my sister.

i taught art classes this week.
10-14 years olds.
they were so beautiful and awkward.
perfectection.
i had every stereotypical middle schooler in my class.
the goth, the sweet girl, the popular girl, the loner, the hot artsy boy and the teachers pet.
(i did not allow her to become my pet, but trust me she tried)
they were delightful. and goodness they were talented.
i wish people gave more credit to middle schoolers.
they are such incredible beings at that age.
still young and not quite jaded.
they made me decide that if i do ever teach art, that age will be the one i embrace.
all they want is for someone to make them not feel awkward.
a friend, if you will.
and that is what i was.
they gave me great evaluations, and i almost cried knowing that our time together was over.
BUT
another class next week-intaglio-
new kids to get attached to and then let go of
i will have a hard time when my kids leave home.

my brother and his girlfriend are having a baby
24 years old
and having a baby....
it is excitng
a little out of order...
i will be an aunt
at 21

well that is all i got for now.
oh and i switched my major
there are now two of them
anthropology and art
i think i found my home.

i adore you all. (2.5 of you)

Currently Listening 9 Crimes By Damien Rice see related

Today, i feel like a snow flake.

Currently Listening Films About Ghosts: The Best Of... By Counting Crows see related

I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower....
and its been a long december,
and there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last.

the break is almost over. my month and half hiatus from school is almost over.
8:00 math every morning has kicked my tail, but is keeping me in shape for one last semester of 8:00 civ.

-blah 8:00 civ-

spring semester is always better though, and i am ready for better.
i am ready for oklahoma spring to ensue.

-sunshine
-blooming
-lots of laughing, b/c i think we will all finally be happy
-cherry trees and apple blossoms
-snow, b/c i live in oklahoma
-lots of sitting outside at night and enjoying pretty weather with best friends
-and the prettiest, greenest, softest grass ever

i am also ready to be 5 minutes away from my best friend in this world.

ms. danielle shafer.
she makes me warm.
she is my cocoon.

i also like to kiss her cheek.

i miss everyone bunches. i can't wait to live closer to the prettiest and best girls in this world.
(iloveyouall)

ice, ice go away.
i am tired of you and your slush.

-i am ready for sunshine and 73 degree slightly breezy weather.-

my sisters are the funniest creatures in this world.
tonight while baby sitting and wrestling they thought it would be a grand idea to pull down my pants....in front of clay....
they also have spent the last half hour on my cell phone pushing the number 7 over and over again....b/c it is different colors....they think it is a video game.

i do love those girls. more than anything in this world.
we all have hippie blood. i think it is from my hippie dad.

_i love you all, i really do_

*And you can tell everyone this your song
it may be quite simple but now thats it's done
i hope your don't mind
i hope you don't mind that i put down in words
How wonderful life is now that you're in the world*

i want to do with you what spring does to the cherry trees.